


Slumber Party

by Alexthemedic



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Crack, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Kissing, M/M, Multi, Rough Kissing, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 23:56:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17877218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexthemedic/pseuds/Alexthemedic
Summary: Jefferson and Regina accidentally plan an adult sleepover where everyone gets drunk and reads fan fiction while playing truth or dare.





	Slumber Party

CRACK PROMPT: Characters discover fan fiction about themselves, and, Protagonist and Antagonist host a slumber party together and several good/evil/neutral supporting characters are invited.

The diner was particularly full, seeing as how it was almost ten at night, and Granny’s was never open late. She had a big distaste for getting to bed later than necessary when she knew she was to be up early enough to get the coffee started the following morning.   
“Keep scrolling, it’s getting good.” The captain smirked, running his arm behind Jefferson’s lower back, and bending down to look closer to the laptop sitting on the counter. Jefferson rolled his eyes, huffing, and picks up his styrofoam cup, taking a long drink.   
“I would never sleep with Cora, now that, would be mad.” The hatter stated, tossing the empty cup into the trash bin behind the counter. He can hear muffled giggles behind him from everyone else crowded around. “And, I wouldn’t ever let you, fuck me.” Killian nearly spits out his rum, choking back a laugh. David slaps a hand on the pirate’s shoulder and doubles over in laughter.   
“Hey mate, I wouldn’t be so quick to pitch in. I do believe I saw one earlier where you were with a certain doctor on the romance ship.” Killian wiggles his eyebrows, smirking back at David, who now glances towards a blushing Mary-Margaret.   
“Absoutely not, man. I wouldn’t be caught dead with Archie, even if I was into that. Everyone knows Snow is the only one for me.” David plants a kiss on Mary-Margaret’s cheek, pulling some money out and tossing it on the counter for their food stacked in neatly in to-go boxes.   
“The best though—“ Emma smacks her hand down on the counter, tears streaking down her face, cheeks stinging from laughing so hard. “—is that one where Ruby is with Belle, and Rumple is left for dead. And then they really throw it together by putting Mulan into the mix for that threesome!”   
Regina clears her throat, bringing the attention back to the fact that they are trying to leave before Granny comes back to usher them out of her way. “This is all nonsense. Whoever is writing these, must have no life. As well as no taste in relationships. I find them to be particularly disturbing.” Regina crosses her arms, but Emma pulls her in and rests her head against her shoulder, humming into her neck.   
“Babe, they’re funny. Everyone knows they’re not in any sense realistic.” Emma says into Regina’s neck, before giving her a kiss on the forehead.   
“Aright, everyone out. Don't any of you know what five in the morning looks like on an old maid?!” Granny comes around the corner, broom in hand, and leans against the post of the door to the kitchen. “Ruby, I’ll need your help to cover a shift in the morning, so you best get on up to bed. I’m counting on you.” Granny sternly says, eyeing the laptop and the crowd of people around it. Jefferson quickly shuts it, tucking it away into his bag. Ruby cautiously rolls her eyes, but listens to her grandmother.   
“See you guys later, don’t forget to update me on the scoop.” She laughs, glancing back to her friends, and heads off towards the stairway to get cleaned up for the night. She hated always getting stuck on shifts so that she couldn’t go out with anyone, but she needed the money, and Granny was always allowing her a place to stay for free at the diner so she couldn’t complain when she was asked to help out on extra shifts.   
Jefferson, Killian, David, Emma, Mary-Margaret, and Regina find themselves without a plan once locked outside of the diner.   
“We should read more of those.” Killian suggests, looking back towards Jefferson. “I like the ones where they make you my bitch.” He draws his hook up to trace down the hatter’s jawline, who makes an audible scoff, but plants a mildly seductive kiss on the captain’s rum flavored lips. “You wish.” Jefferson laughs into his lovers mouth, looking back to the rest of the friends.   
“Neal has Henry and Grace for the weekend, he wanted to take them to live the real outdoorsy life camping in the woods, so it’s not like we don’t have some time for an adult slumber party.” Emma says, glancing towards Regina for approval, who shrugs, but parts her lips in a half smile. “I guess I could stand to have a little fun, but not without some alcohol, snacks, and a few more friends to enjoy these ridiculous stories with. If were going to dig into some juicy ones, I want to see the looks on their faces when they realize who they’ve been fictionally stuck with.” She gloats, pulling out her phone from her purse. “I’ll make some phone calls, David you and Mary-Margaret aren’t much for a party, so you can pick out some junk foods. But make sure to get those delectable salt and vinegar chips and you two—“ Regina is interrupted with Killian raising his hook in the air, making a cutting motion in the brisk spring night.   
“I though you only had a taste for apples, love.” The captain mocks, taking a step back as Regina lunges at him, putting the phone to her ear. “For you, I’d poison a thousand recipes, pirate. Now make good use of your alcoholic self, and the two of you find some boozy recipes. I’d at least trust the two that would make the most impulsive decisions to find the best options to make us reasonably less responsible adults for a weekend.”   
Killian snarls as Regina goes to work at collecting more people for their adult sleepover, but Jefferson pulls him away towards the direction of the grocery store that David and Snow are headed for. He knows this isn’t a fight he’s willing to work up right now. Plus, they are the two most impulsive of the group, he can’t argue with that. He figures that he could make good use of their time right now to make a call to Neal to check on the kids, ensuring that nothing too exciting has happened on their camping trip. It isn’t a usual happening that he lets Grace out of his sight for very long, but he knew that this trip meant a lot to Henry to let him have his best friend there with him when he got to spend more time getting to know Neal too, and Jefferson knew what it felt like to not know how your kid was doing when that’s all you were concerned about. So, if they were going to have a good time, so would he.   
It was only about an hour later that Jefferson was flipping the living room lights on, and Killian was over by the fireplace attempting to start a fire, as instructed by his hatter for their guests. Jefferson couldn’t have imagined the day he would be working to plan a sleepover with Regina after all they had been through, but yet here they are. There were plenty of booze choices that aligned the island in the kitchen and almost every choice of mixer imaginable to have a good time. It looked as though they basically bought the store out. It competed though with the stacks of snack options that cluttered the counters that David, Emma and Mary-Margaret were sorting out, throwing gummy worms in their mouths as they put together trays of food. Just then, as Regina was helping the hatter to pull out some spare pillows and blankets, the doorbell rang. It was a sound Jefferson wouldn’t ever get used to in this life, after being alone for so many years before. His stomach did a turn, but he smiled as he watched Killian struggled with the fireplace still, and made his way to the front door, Regina trailing behind him with a smirk on her face. Jefferson opened the front door and gasped, looking at the line of cars down the drive, and Regina clasped her hands together and squealed.   
“I knew everyone would make it, everyone loves a good fan fiction reading marathon!” Jefferson glared in her direction and looked back out at the porch full of friends, and enemies, that seemed to be collected together.   
“Well are you going to let us in or just keep starting, hatter.” Leroy grumbled from under the light of the porch, shoving his way past Sheriff Graham and August to get into the frame of the door.   
Killian stood, brushing invisible dust off from his knees, and beamed with approval at the fire he had started. He turns towards where he can hear Jefferson arguing with Regina about the amount of people she has invited and helps himself over to the front door to help his partner out. “Relax, love. It never killed anyone to have a good party once in their life.” He shoves an elbow in the captain’s direction, but Killian pulls Jefferson in for a kiss before realizing just how many people from the town are piling into the living area.   
“Jefferson, can’t you get your laptop hooked up in the theatre room? Everyone should get to see this on a big screen, we can read them out loud!” Emma calls from the kitchen to Jefferson, scooping ice cream onto a banana before drizzling chocolate sauce over it.   
“You should ask your lover, she would know the in and outs of this place.” Jefferson mocks, heading for the alcohol on the counter to mix himself a stiff drink.   
Regina rolls her eyes, but goes back to smiling and welcoming guests like it’s her own house, before closing the door and ushering them all towards the kitchen to collectively make drinks and get everyone headed towards Jefferson’s own cinema room.   
Before long, there were rows of drinks and snacks lining every surface in the room and David was working with Killian to get the laptop set up, while Jefferson slammed back shot after shot. He couldn’t tell if he was feeling woozy and uneasy from the alcohol or the people that Regina had packed into his house.   
He could easily tell aloud each of the feuds in the room, but upon closer inspection it seemed like for once in their lifetimes everyone was getting along, even if they never had before. It’s wonder what some junk food and mixed drinks can do to enemies.   
Graham was slouched in a chair by August and Leroy who had Nova wrapped around his side. Peter Pan, Archie, and Dr. Whale were in another corner laughing over something on Archie’s tablet. Belle, Rumple, and Ruby were in another row of chairs, who snuck out of the diner after getting a phone call from Regina. And Jefferson’s head hurt trying to remember the names of a few others who had grouped themselves in various positions in the room because it felt so unsettling to have so many people who didn’t get along and had often times tried to murder each other in one room, in his house, in the middle of Maine. Killian wrapped his arm around the hatter’s waist and David gave out a high pitched yell after the screen from the laptop connected and showed a search engine on the big screen which erupted laughter and applause from everyone whom had already started to get intoxicated in the room.   
“Start it out with a dirty one!” Someone yelled from the crowd of new found friends, and an ocean of giggling and comments came from the dimly lit room.   
David doubled over in laughter and took another drink before shoving an Oreo in his mouth and started clicking away at the laptop. “Okay, okay. Here’s one. Who wants to read first?” He laughed, clicking the enter button after typing in ‘Once Upon a Time Fanfiction’ into the search bar and pulling up the first website.   
“Your characters play truth or dare.” Jefferson blankly says, shaking his head in disbelief as his name is one of the first to appear in a pairing with Killian. Along side him in this reading is parings of almost all of the friends in the room, and he can’t help but get an uneasy feeling.   
“This is going to be so good.” The captain grins, shoving a newly made drink into David’s hand, watching him down it quickly. “David, you start it off, love.” He suggests, plopping himself down in a chair and pulling Jefferson to sit down next to him. They begin to relax in the same row that Emma, Regina, and Mary-Margaret are seated in and everyone hushes each others giggles while David starts at the beginning of the story.   
“I dare Jefferson to run naked around the block, before taking a dive in the pool.” David begins to read, not able to stop himself from laughing and doubling over with just the beginning of the story. Jefferson shifts uncomfortably in his seat, and lets out a sigh.   
“I would never do such a thing. I have way more self respect than that.” Jefferson says, loudly for everyone to hear, but mostly to reassure himself that this isn’t anything but a work of fiction.   
“Well it sure looks like you’re going to do it.” David blurts out, scrolling farther down the page that is illuminating the room from the big screen and he begins to read more. “Oh god, you guys, let act it out!” David suggests, pointing out in the crowd towards the hatter. “You’re first up, champ. Didn’t Regina stick a pool in this place somewhere?” He motions to Jefferson, pulling up his shirt in a taunting manner and grinning at his friend in a half intoxicated state.   
“Do it!” Killian shrills towards the hatter, poking him in the chest.   
Jefferson rolls his eyes, huffs out a long breath, and stands up. A wide grin spreads across his face. “Fine.” He slurs, drunkly pulling his shirt up over his head.

**Author's Note:**

> Just putting together two crack prompts that I found that I might do a couple chapters on. Playing around with some ideas!


End file.
